Tip Sheets

My Teen Is In an Abusive Relationship. How Can I Get Help?

Are you concerned that your teen may be in an abusive relationship? Have you been putting off talking about dating abuse with your teen?

Approximately 1 in 5 high school girls reports being abused by a boyfriend.¹ Dating violence is controlling, abusive, and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship.² While 1 in 3 girls who have been in a serious relationship say they’ve been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner,³ abusive behavior is not limited to physical violence. Dating violence can include verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse. These actions include name calling, extreme jealousy, threats of self harm, and obsessive phone calling or text messaging.

What Can I Do?

If you are concerned that your teen’s relationship is or may become abusive, please:

• Pay attention to any changes in your teen’s behavior that may indicate dating abuse.

• Express your concern for your teen’s safety. If possible, provide examples of behaviors that have caused your concern.

• Listen without judging. Let your teen know that you are supportive and want to help them create healthy relationships.

For information on warning signs of abusive relationships, please visit the following Web sites:

• ChooseRespect

• LoveIsRespect

For additional information on dating violence, please visit the following Web sites:

• Dating Violence Resource Center

• National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center

1. Silverman, J.G., Raj, A., Mucci, L.A., and Hathaway, J.E., “Dating Violence Against Adolescent Girls and Associated Substance Use, Unhealthy Weight Control, Sexual Risk Behavior, Pregnancy, and Suicidality,” JAMA 286, no. 5 (2001):572–79.

2. National Center for Victims of Crime, http://www.nvcv.org.

3. Liz Claiborne, Inc., Teen Relationship Abuse Survey 2006, available at: http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/surveyresults_teens2006.htm.