Tip Sheet

My Friend Is Being Abused. What Can I Do?

It’s not easy to see someone you care about being hurt in a relationship. It can be even harder to talk to them about the abuse. One in three teenagers reports knowing a friend or peer who has been physically hurt by her partner.¹ Dating violence isn’t a one-time occurrence. It’s a pattern of abusive behaviors—name calling, isolation from friends and family, threats, and even physical harm—that escalate over time.

Have you noticed changes in a friend’s behavior that worry you? Does she make excuses for her partner’s actions? Has she withdrawn from activities that she used to enjoy? Does she have unexplained bruises?

What Can I Do?

• Let your friend know that you are worried about her.

• Be clear that you are there to listen and that you won’t judge her.

• Provide specific examples of behaviors that scared you, whether they are changes in her behavior or things you have seen her partner do or say.

• Be patient. Ending a relationship can be hard for anyone, but particularly for someone who is being abused.

For more signs of abusive relationships and information on how to talk to your friend about her relationship, visit:

• Choose Respect

• Love Is Respect

• See It and Stop It

For additional information on dating violence, please visit the following Web sites:

• Dating Violence Resource Center

• National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center: Teen Dating Violence

1. Liz Claiborne Inc. Topline Findings, Teen Relationship Abuse Survey (Conducted March 2006), Teenage Research Unlimited, available at: http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/pdf/Liz%20Claiborne%20
Mar%2006%20Relationship%20Abuse%20Hotsheet.pdf